The Homesteaders

One of the unintended consequences of moving back to Minnesota was being closer to my familial roots. In fact, my great-great grandfather homesteaded about 90 minutes from here, so I decided to go take a look around. It has been something I intended doing since I started this genealogical research.

I had long ago found a copy of the original land patent, so was able to find the parcel using my elementary understanding of reading plat maps. I was even able to nail down an address, which makes it even easier with any GPS navigation device. So, I just typed it in and away I went.

Despite being a mere hour and a half away, the landscape between here and there is different. Here in Detroit Lakes, we are at the confluence of prairie, forest, and plains. As you move through Otter Tail County and into Wadena County, it become apparent that there are more farms and ranches and fewer recreational lakes. Pushing into Todd County on Highway 71, one passes through small hamlets and towns until finally one reaches Browerville. This is the town where my ancestors would have gone to church and shop. In fact, it is said that Valentine Schultek would have taken his children and wife to church in a sleigh. To get an idea of what this would like, I needed to go deep into the country to find the homestead.

I had to take several turns on paved roads until I met my last turn on a dirt road that was red-brown. The rain must make dirt roads that color. I drove a mile and half and finally made it - it was a swampy brushy brushy area, and it was apparent to me how it would be difficult to stay. It wasn't a ugly place, it was just a hard place with limited opportunity. True, the adjacent lake may have provided an abundant source of water, but it reminded me more of a large pond than a serious lake. The 57 acres of the homestead had numerous deer stands, and I don't doubt that several of these beautiful nuisances come round this area.

After taking several pictures, and casting a few times into the lake at the adjacent state boat access, I decided it was time to go. I drove to Long Prairie, the seat of Todd County. A fine town, though sadly the whole town is for sale. I noticed that it was time for church, so I decided to take in Mass at this grand old church. It was a very nice service, and after a walk around the cemetery looking for Val Schultek, it was time to go back to Detroit Lakes.

I got back to Detroit Lakes at about dusk, and grilled some steaks. A leisurely day that could have been worse.

So Much for Follow-Through

I committed to making this a daily thing two days ago. I suppose working about 12 hours yesterday kept me from keeping this commitment. Still, it is disappointing not to follow through on something that I was hoping to do, and only realizing my mistake about 5 minutes before I fell asleep. It is some consolation to know that despite knowing the err of my ways so close to sleeping, I fell a sleep anyways. Usually, it would have bothered me so much that I would have gotten out of bed and done it.

I thought I'd love eating out as much as I have lately, on the account of my limboed ways. ( I know "limboed" isn't a word, but I feel it is appropriate adjective at this time). It is hard living out of a suitcase and a van packed with miscellaneous belongings. I'd love to have a place to land more permanently, but like everything else, things take time.

How Do You Write About Change?

It takes a while for me to get around to writing online again. I'm not sure how many times I have started and then close out the window thinking that I don't have anything meaningful to add, but I'm sure it was at least a dozen. I have found that if you never write, you never have anything to talk about.

It is true that I have changed jobs and that I do not have a permanent place to lay my head. I'm not homeless, although it is not very easy to feel at home living in a resort motel that is only two rooms and a bathroom. While it is a nice place that is clean with a great view, it doesn't have those trappings of home that make it comfortable enough. Then again, it was never designed for that purpose, so why should I feel surprised that I'm not at home here?

So what does it take to write about change? It seems that I only feel compelled to write something when there has been a big change, maybe borne out of some need to memorialize it. Maybe the reason that I do not write about smaller changes that happen, part because there are things that aren't practical to write about and part because small changes tend to be mundane. So, to answer my own question, the way to speak about change is in detail, but with interest. With sufficient detail and earnestness, even small changes become interesting.

A friend once made it a point to write on his blog every day for a month. I tried to do the same thing, and I do not remember if I succeeded. I am going to try the same and see where it takes me. It is really difficult for me to write as little as have to this point, maybe this kind of disciplined writing may make it easier. I don't know why I am hoping to make this writing thing any easier, but maybe I will become better, which is laudable in and of itself.

Ten Thousand Hours

It is said that it take ten thousand hours to get good at something. I think this must be true because it took at least this long for me to get good enough in school to pursue further studies. It also means that in order to get really good at something, you have to spend more than an hour a day doing it, because it would then take over 25 years to get good at something. Most of us do not have that kind of time.

I think a lot about how I spend my time during the day. If I am like most people, work has a way of taking the wind out of our sails. After a day of work, there is something therapeutic about clicking the remote control. It may be that it is the one thing that we do have control over in any given day. For me, television is a way to think about something else for a while. Unfortunately, the many ads there are for anti-depressants and other sad conditions makes it difficult to stake out some peace of mind.

It has been a long time since I have felt carefree. There was one time three years ago, walking in the woods that I felt at peace. Otherwise, it is as if there is an anvil suspended above my head secured by a precariously frayed rope. I ask, "Is it going to fall today?" While this does create un-welcomed anxiety, I suppose that it is positive stress that keeps me going from day to day and week to week. Still, I long for a simpler time.

We are to live but once in these temporal bodies of ours, and so we are required to grow. That is why we do not, and cannot turn back the clock. Even if I could reach my ideal past, I would be out of place because time has worked on me. That is to say, I have lived through time, and the current me could not exist in a past self. We live in time, so we have to work with what we have, which can only be the future.

It is more difficult than ever before to be optimistic about the future. From every media outlet imaginable, we have been told that everything is going to get worse. Almost everyone I know clings to their jobs, for the fear of financial ruin in their life if they tried to do something else with their lives. The burden of student loans conjures up thoughts of the company store of the past. We all have student loans to service, and we are tied to a job until this debt is paid. Of course, unlike the company store situation we free to leave the position that we are in for another, possibly more lucrative one, but this is unlikely given the extended negative economic situation.

Will we learn anything from our current economic situation? As for myself, I have learned to be more scared about the loss of income. I think fear is the one thing that we are going to take from this situation. It is true that we can overcome fear, but there are few places to turn for encouragement without whitewashing the situation. That is to say, beyond those who wholesale deny that we have a problem in this country, there is no message of balance in acknowledging our problems but offering solutions to solve them.

Make no mistake that our problems in the United States are beyond economic - they are social, political, and moral. For example, as some have said, it should be at least as hard to get married as it is divorced. I do not know how you could make it this difficult, but I think if people had a good conception of what it was like to be married, there would be fewer divorces. This does not mean that people would live together before they were married, but it would involve some exercise in having a better knowledge about who you are marrying, and working out true compromise and sharing.

I do not have all of the answers, and I have the ever-present fear of restating what has been said time and time again. But if everyone feels this way, nothing is said. To err on the side of caution in this case means saying something, even if is repetitive.

Owning is a house is a lot of work. I have always known this, but it is particularly difficult doing it all by myself. While I have bargained for this house, and all of the maintenance, cleaning, fixing, and yard work associated with it, it is like having a part time job. I would hire some of the work out, but as some of you know, I have difficulty hiring much help around here.

I have purchased a new computer, and a new bed too. Both seem to be frivolous to me, but the truth is that I need both of these things. The computer because my old one has a "t" key about ready to go out on it, is running Windows XP (which is not that big of an impediment as it turns out), has no web camera, and would need a number of other various upgrades. It is nice that I was able to finance it over 9 months.

The bed is an experiment in better health. I enjoy reading in bed, but I have difficulty doing in a bed without a headboard. Further, it seems that I have outgrown a twin bed, as there is almost no way I can turn such that my arms aren't dangling over the side. I also thought that a new mattress might give me a better night's sleep which might give me more energy to make it through the day. We will see.

The sky here has been overcast since Friday, which is why the roofing folks could not come out. More precisely, they could not come out because it takes 24 hours for the roofing material to set, and it was due to rain the next day. Whatever the case, I need to get this place fixed.

I'm now working on a law review article that is in the research phase. I am looking forward to getting to the outlining and writing phase by the end of the month. After being out of school for four years, I am finally feeling confident enough to start the writing process, which is as challenging, and more exciting than I remember it.

I am looking forward to traveling to Chicago to present at a conference about jurisdictional issues in Indian Country. Since flying is such a hassle and unduly expensive, I will be traveling by auto, which should give me some time to get out on the open road.

I need to straighten my house out a bit, so I'm going to try to do that. Try.

Rogaine Warrior

I continue in my genealogical research, and I have even managed to connect with someone else regarding a common ancestor. It took some searching, but appears that this informant and I are first cousins, twice removed, which I have never heard of before. In any case, it is a refreshing feeling to gather information about relevant history as opposed to digging up dirt on a soon-to-be ex-spouse for a client. Still, I am quite effective at both investigative purposes.

Except for very recent relatives, it is interesting to note that almost none of my relatives died in the same vicinity in which they were born. I suppose that this is a testament to the westward movement that dominated the nineteenth century, but going from Ohio to Missouri during those times was much more difficult than it is today. To ride in any other way but rail must have been dangerous and rugged. Rail fare could not have been cheap, at least not for the massive working class. I expect that the approximate reasons for this much movement will reveal itself to me as my research continues, but even if it does not, general history of the time and place can give me circumstantial evidence for my relatives westward move.

My hair is longer now than it has been since at least high school. When I worked at the pharmacy, I recall my hair being enough to cover my eyes at some point. While my hair is not that long right now, it is longer than it usually happens to be. I think that the beginning of thinning of hair has me reconsidering being so eager to get a buzz.

Anyhow, I have a week full of work ahead of me. I need to get some sleep so that I can actually have some measure of focus. Until we speak again, I remain very truly yours.

Could you imagine being buried without a grave stone? Some may find it of little consequence, especially if they planned on being cremated and spread to the winds, or if they assign no consequence to our bodily states after we pass. For the last few months, I have been doing genealogical research, and it has brought me to several cemeteries around the Twin Cities.

I know that we had at least one of my kin buried at Calvary Cemetery in Saint Paul, so I stopped by the office to do a search. Indeed, my great-great grandfather is buried out there. Concerned with finding the grave, I asked the office if I would be looking for an upright gravestone or a flat stone for his grave. The lady told me that I would be looking for no marker at all since no monument was ever placed. This man died in 1930, but since that time there has been no memorial placed on his grave.

It makes me wonder why his children did not purchase a stone for him. One possible reason is that he survived his eldest son, who would have been responsible for making these kind of arrangements at that time. The other rumor is that he died destitute, which would not have been uncommon in 1930.

Whatever the case, it is rather sad. I am not sure if it is more sad that there was not enough money for a simple stone or if no one cared to do it, but either way it is all a kind of sad. It's a sad way to end for tonight.